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NEW “Lose Stress Diet” a.k.a. $$$ How to Get a Self-Generated PAY RAISE $$$

Secrets FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Lakewood, NJ –
BENJAMIN HALPERN, LCSW, 
Business Psychology Expert

NEW Lose Stress Diet” a.k.a. $$$ How to Get a Self-Generated PAY RAISE $$$

Ben is leading the way in the personal development space with Practical Psychology for Business!

A Peak Performance Coach & trusted Advisor to Fortune® 500 companies Ben is excited to reveal his SECRETS about how to achieve emotional freedom and shares the good news that TODAY

YOU CAN achieve and Live Your Deserved Life!

Today, Ben is releasing his personal success membership-based portal to everyone. Watch this 5-minute video (below) to learn about Ben’s Top 5 Asked Questions and he reveals the answers. Also, learn more about how to access his new online programs – all focused on helping members and non-members alike, with paid and free content, so everyone interested can learn to control the supercomputer between their ears!

 

THE TRUTH IS this LOSE STRESS DIET WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE!

  • Trusted Advisor to C-Suite Executives and Fortune® 500 Companies, Empowering Teams & Individuals
  • Area of expertise is Stress Management, Work/Life Balance, Peak Performance, Expert and How To Transform & Perform at Your Best.
  • Creator of “Practical Psychology for Business” – Training and Podcast – where he guides you using this simplified thinking model:
    Thoughts > Emotions > Results > Actions!
  • and “Live Your Deserved Life” movement and community
  • Author/Speaker/Trainer

For more information, or to book Ben for your company, or as a 1 to 1 Mentor, please call his office or use the link (at the top of this web page).

Ben says, “I have successfully helped thousands of people to create the clarity, focus, and skill set you need to be the best you can be. It would be my honor and privilege to serve you NOW!”

Benjamin Halpern Business Identity image

CLICK IMAGE TO GO TO LIVE YOUR DESERVED LIFE
Benjamin Halpern, LCSW

Who Is Ben? Nov. 12, 2018 - image
Who Is Ben? Nov. 12, 2018

Mesivta Of Eatontown Speech

MOEPoster

I recently heard a speaker recount that he was the guest speaker at a function and sitting there he was shocked to notice that the menu had delicious meat as the main course and cheesecake with milk chocolate truffles for desert, he was horrified and approached the person in charge and pointed out his concern. The person in charge responded, when I heard that you are the guest speaker, I knew that we will have enough time after the main course to have a milchig desert. The bad news is that you won’t be having a milchig desert tonight, however the good news is that I will be brief and hopefully to the point.

Many speakers start off sharing that they are not really a speaker, they’re not really a mechanech and so on. As a therapist I know that it can be traumatizing at times. For example, if you are on flight and over the loudspeaker you hear, I will be flying you tonight, however I am really not a pilot and don’t really know how to fly, however I will try my best. Or right before entering the operating room the surgeon humbly admits to you, I am really not a surgeon, but I heard that you are in pain, so I figured it’s worth a try. With that said I will confess that although I work with teens, I am not the expert on teens, the true expert on teens is in house tonight and is none other than our esteemed rosh yeshiva shlita

At the recent TU convention the Rosh yeshiva presented, and in addition to the fact that he had a huge turnout, after the presentation the menahel of a first rate yeshiva approached the rosh yeshiva and said, I will take a copy of this presentation for each one of my rebbeim. The information applies to talmidim in all yeshivos. Our rosh yeshiva exemplifies the pshat of Chanoch Lenaar al pi darko, to be matzliach in chinuch you need to go in the ways of hashem. To be rachum, chanun, erech apayim, rav chesed and emes. It is the rosh yeshiva who is the person that is behind the great success we celebrate tonight. It is he who handpicked the top of the line Rabbeim who are transforming the Bochurim to be the successes they are. MOE lives by the words of the Mahrshal that asks why it says in the haggadah, Echud Chacham, Echud Rasha, Echud Tam, Echud Sheno yodea lishol, shouldn’t it say Echud Chacham, Sheni Rasha, Shlishi Tam, Revee Sheno yodeah lishol? The answer he says is that that they are all number one and all deserve and equal opportunity. MOE offers every bochur the opportunity to find hatlacha in torah and life.

Many people are aware of the issues that many of our teens are facing, there are many meetings held, and symposium’s presented on what the issues are, however fewer do something about it. There’s a riddle that goes, what’s the difference between a thermometer and a thermostat. Both tell you that it is hot in the room. But there is a huge difference between the 2. A thermometer can tell you the temperature however it does nothing about it. A thermostat however does something about it. We celebrate tonight “the thermostat” a team of dedicated individuals who decided to do something about it. MOE needs our support to continue with their great work, and we need them to assure that every bochur will be there at kobolos hatorah.

I was asked to talk about teens, in my opinion, the biggest challenge we have in being mechanch teens, is communication. If we are able to better communicate with them, we would be able to know what bothers them and be able to help them deal with it. The lead researchers on communication found that anxiety is what breaks down communication. When someone is anxious they shut down and can’t communicate effectively with another person. As an anxiety specialist I can tell you that anxiety is basically driven by the feeling of being out of control. As long as one feels in control they remain calm, and when they feel that it’s been taken away, fear and anxiety kick in.

What are the two most challenging obstacles teens negotiate that create anxiety? The first is who is the boss in their lives? From when kids are at the terrible two’s stage, they are in the process of moving from being totally dependent on their parents, to ultimately being independent by the time they get married. They begin at 2 throwing the food mommy put on their highchair tray unto the floor, and continue with similar behaviors into adolescence. Our challenge then is, How can we have them feel like they are charge and at the same time being mechanech them?

The second obstacle is that children recognize that everything we wish for them, Bonei, Chaya & Mezonei, are all glued to pain. Life equals pain. On the other hand dis-functionality has no pain; drugs, alcohol & suicide are ways of running away from pain. How do we teach them to deal with pain, so they move towards life rather than running the other way?

Research proves that the best way to deescalate anxiety and the need for control, is to validate. Studies show that if the mom crunches her face to mirror her 8 month old baby when it’s crying from the pain of the shots it received, the baby will stop crying. If your 2 year old scrapes her knee, the most effective way to calm her is to sigh and acknowledge the tragedy. Trying to argue that it’s really not so painful will only escalate the pain. When we validate our teen that is in pain we de-escalate their pain. Of course this has its limitations, if your child is on the parkway heading back to Lakewood and you hear on the radio that there is someone driving on the wrong side of the parkway. Of course like every good parent you call your son and tell him to watch out, as you heard that there is someone driving on the wrong side of the highway. Your flustered son responds, Mommy, one car? I see 50 cars driving towards me on the wrong side of the highway, that is not the time to validate him, just tell him to get off the wrong side of the highway. However in most cases when you validate a child they feel that they are in control and you are giving them the right to think and feel as they please. Once you validate them effectively, they should be in position to communicate with you and listen. The skill of validation had 3 steps. 1) Mirror back their words, 2) validate their right to feel what they feel 3) empathize that they are in distress. It is simple once you get the hang of it and then you can move ahead with your parenting.

Regarding the second challenge of teaching them to effectively deal with pain. The gerer rebbe once said that pain is given to us by hashem, suffering we do unto ourselves. It is really suffering we can’t tolerate, pain actually is very tolerable. Let me illustrate with 2 of my clients, both are women that are married for 15 years. One was blessed with 8 children and one is childless. Which woman experiences more pain? The answer is the woman with the 8 children. She had 8 childbirths to contend with, she has no nights, no days, and no schedule. The childless woman on the other hand, had no pain of childbirth, sleeps and eats when she chooses to, lives practically a pain free life. If I ask you who suffers more? The answer is of course the childless woman. So pain after all doesn’t equal suffering, it’s rather pain plus not accepting it, that equals suffering. If we teach our children to accept pain, to accept their lot in life, they will not suffer and need to run away from life.

Additionally we need to teach our children that pain is counter intuitive, when we move towards pain it actually will not continue to escalate it will rather always diminish. For example if the pool is cold and you want to swim, if you stick with the discomfort it will diminish. If you have a mosquito bite and don’t itch to relieve your discomfort, it will not get worse but rather diminish. When you show your child examples from their life where something was uncomfortable and they stuck with it and it got better rather than worse, they will be able to make a better choice. These skills will help us help our teens move toward success in life, by minimizing their anxiety and keeping our doors of communication open with them.

One final thought as I close, we are now making final preparations for kabolas hatorah, the chasam sofer points out how moshe rabeinu saw the best way to prepare klal yisroel for kabalas hatorah. We know that Moshe postponed kabolas hatorah for a full 24 hours, he held back millions of mitzvos and torah, why? This is a serious decision on moshe’s end after all. The Chasam Sofer says that this was to ensure that every Jew would be ready and pure and able to participate in Kabolas hatorah. According to the Chasam Sofers calculation’s the only person that couldn’t be ready on time and needed the extra day to become pure, would be a handicapped woman. And the way moshe wanted us to prepare for kabolas hatorah was to make sure every person was there, and nobody was left behind. Thats the way we prepare for kabloas hatorah!

What better way to prepare than being here tonight and assuring that no boy will be left behind. In the Zchus of supporting MOE an institution that makes sure that no boy will be left behind when it comes Kaolas hatorah, may we merit to the brochos that come with Kabols Hotarah health, wealth and nachas until the coming of Moshiach BB”O

The Voice Of Lakewood

the Voice

Q: I live in a development that has had a couple of scares with strangers. I want to teach my children to stay away and what to do in chas veshalom this terrible situation but I am unsure what to say or how to bring it across without scaring or worrying them. Please advise.  

Your great question has three components. The first is a practical one. How do I teach my children about the dangers of strangers? The second point you mention is not wanting to scare or worry your children, which touches upon the difference between fear and anxiety. The third point worth mentioning in reference to your question is that in general it is not recommended to try to protect our children from discomfort, in this case worry and fear. Rather, we can teach them important skills to help them deal with the inevitable bumps in life ensuring that they have a happy future.

Let’s start with the first question of how to practically teach safety precautions in a clear manner without adding unnecessary drama. You should discuss the concept of safety including fires, crossing the street, chemicals and strangers. Give clear, understandable instructions for all of these situations. A helpful definition of a stranger is someone your parents have never invited into your home. If they are in doubt, encourage them to ask you, and if you approve of the person then that person can be considered safe. It is helpful to draw two columns labeled “safe” and “dangerous” and draw or write in each, so that it is visual, concrete, and can be easily referred to. Explain to them that there are 5 rules regarding strangers.  Don’t… 1) talk 2) smile 3) wave 4) take anything from them 5) go anywhere with them. You can draw or write these rules on a paper to make sure that they are clearly understood. If children abide by these rules, you can tell them that they can feel safe and secure. When they have the tools they will feel a sense of control and won’t be anxious.

Regarding the second point, fear is necessary for survival. Fear sharpens our senses and prepares our body for fight or flight. Anxiety on the other hand, is a constant experience that drains us of our energy and joy. When children feel empowered with clear instructions they will feel a healthy dose of fear but will be spared from anxiety which is so limiting.

That leads me into the third point; children need to learn how to deal with discomfort effectively, since it is an inevitable part of life. Protecting them from all discomfort can have a crippling effect on them rather than empowering them. Allow them to experience some (safe) discomfort and watch them thrive into resilient and healthy adults.

 

 

Benyamin Halpern MSW is the Developer of the Staying on Track Program TM for Anxiety Disorders. He can be reached at the F.A.S.T. Center for Personal Development 732.730.3900.

Mishpacha Magazine

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Since I was a teenager, I’ve been helping people. Somehow I always seemed to be a magnet for people seeking a listening ear. 

But after years of listening and advising, I got frustrated. I was trying my best, sending people for professional help, but they weren’t getting the healing they needed. Instead of gifting them with skills and eventual independence, too many of the therapists were serving as crutches. The clients’ lives remained enormously painful, even after years of medication and/or therapy. I couldn’t bear to watch the endless pain – so I decided to train as a therapist myself.

I joined the field during a major shift, the transition toward structured therapy. This model, commonly known as Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy (CBT for short), has a very clear game plan in therapy and it is a more measurable form of help.

With time I gained expertise in the area of anxiety disorders, and I’ve managed to help close to 1,000 people overcome debilitating anxiety. My clients include kids who’ve been out of school for up to 4 years, adolescents who fear eating food, young women who fear becoming mothers, people scared of flying, dating, public places, and much more. Rav Mattisyahu Salomon told me that there’s virtually no home without an anxiety sufferer, and the disorder wreaks havoc on one’s quality of life. Rav Yaakov Meir Schechter told me that he views anxiety as worse that a big physical illness like cancer. However, anxiety can be vanquished. Studies have established a success rate in the high 90s when CBT is used to conquer anxiety.

The Skverrer Rebbe told me that most of the successful people who come to him are taking medication of some sort to manage their anxiety. In fact, my client base includes some of the most respected and successful people in frum society. I often tell new clients that they would be honored to walk into my office if they knew in whose company they were. 

But not long ago, these people would never have dreamed of seeking help or admitting their problems. The door was firmly closed on discussion or treatment of mental illness. Today’s openness to seeking help is a relatively new phenomenon, and it’s the result of a major shift in our society, with several factors at play.

I feel that the frum media has played a part in normalizing the challenge of mental illness, by published features and stories showing that this is prevalent, it’s treatable, it’s a normal challenge — and introducing therapeutic concepts and treatment options to the community.

The increase in frum practitioners has also played a major part in our community’s openness to seeking help. Hundreds of today’s mental health professionals have learned in the same yeshivas and grown up in the same communities as their clients. In addition to having similar hashkofos, they can relate to their clients on many levels.

All these therapists need halachic and hashkafic guidances, and that is another blessed development of the last decade. I can and do call Lakewood’s Skverrer Dayan with any halachic questions, and consult with Rav Mattisyahu Salomon on hashkafic issue. I find that more and more rabbanim are comfortable fielding these questions, and are increasingly aware of mental health issues affecting their communities.

Ten years ago, the landscape was completely different. Today’s multidisciplinary approach has empowered sufferers to get help earlier and more effectively. And the community as a whole has become more understanding, more supportive, and more compassionate.

 

Binah magazine

mag-01

O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

In order to understand O.C.D. you need need to simply understand the three words that make up its name the first being “O” which stands for obsessive. An obsession is a thought that is repetitive, which is the way our brain naturally intensifies emotion. We actually enjoy a lot of the times when we obsess about thoughts that make us feel excited or happy. Obsessions are totally normal. However we can also obsess about thoughts that drain us, make us anxious or depressed. There is also a form of obsessive thoughts that are intrusive, which are thoughts that we don’t want to have. The spectrum of intrusive thoughts are very broad, and can come in every genre, they can be benign, crazy, scary, inappropriate, or dangerous in nature and therefore can be very bothersome. As long as we are aware that they are thoughts, and anxious that we might act on them or that they won’t ever stop, or that they keep us up at night or from concentrating on the task at hand they fit into this category. The “C” stands for compulsion; a compulsion is a behavior we do to turn off or mitigate an obsessive thought. Compulsions come in two forms; it can either be a safety behavior or avoidance behavior. An example of a safety behavior would be, if I obsess about contracting an illness or germs from touching people or things, I will wash my hands after touching, or shower to keep me safe and relieve me of my tormenting obsessional thoughts. An avoidance behavior for the fear of contracting illness or fear would be; that I avoid touching people or things, or I wear gloves in places that I feel have the likelihood to come in contact with germs or illness.  You need to recognize that all human beings have obsessions and compulsions, for example if you feel hunger (O) and eat to get relief(C); you miss your mother (O) and call her to get relief (C) and so on. O & C’s are totally normal and are necessary for normal function. The final letter is “D” which stands for disorder. A disorder when it comes to mental health disorders, broadly explained is: if the obsessions and compulsions interfere with functionality of love and work.  If you cannot function in relationships or it affects your daily living, then you very likely have O.C.D. and would greatly enhance the quality of your life by learning cognitive and behavioral skills (CBT) & your prognosis very likely is good, with Exposure & Response Prevention Therapy. To appreciate how it works you need to understand that all feeling diminish; they flow in a bell curve fashion. All feeling intensify and then naturally subside with time, if you allow them to flow freely. For example when one loses a loved one, the sadness intensifies during Shiva and then with time diminishes. The same is true for good emotions, when you get a promotion or a new item; it first intensifies and then diminishes. This hold true for fear as well, the first time a child goes to school they might be anxious however if they continue to go the fear diminishes. When you do a safety or avoidance behavior, you get in the way of the natural process, of the feeling getting stronger and diminishing. Every time you do a compulsion and stop the feeling from flowing, it builds up and becomes more undoable, and the feeling of being stuck and not able to get rid of the feeling causes anxiety and distress. Exposure therapy is confronting the feeling that has us stuck and response prevention is resisting the urge to do a safety or avoidance behavior and allowing the feeling to flow freely in a bell curve fashion, and free us from it being an obstacle for us. It is not uncommon for a mental health professional to recommend an O.C.D. sufferer, to be evaluated for medication. The regimen usually lasts several months and then the prescriber will taper the client off the medication. An analogy of the benefit would be having a tooth cavity treated with or without novocaine. The dentist can work more effectively & efficiently with the client on novocaine. Similarly the therapeutic process has being shown in studies to be more effective and efficient.

Prnewswire

image7LAKEWOOD, N.J., Feb. 23, 2015 — In his new book, “Supercharge Your Emotions to Win: 7 Keys to Achieve the Life You Desire & Deserve,” personal development expert Benjamin Halpern shows readers how to develop and attach strong, productive emotions – supercharged emotions – to their understanding and choices, empowering them to attain their dreams in every aspect of their lives.

“Are you ready to take control of your life to achieve personal and professional success? You already have all of the tools you need within you,” says personal development consultant, speaker and author Benjamin Halpern, MSW, LCSW. Learn how to make your dreams, aspirations and goals a reality with Halpern’s new book, “Supercharge Your Emotions to Win: 7 Keys to Achieve the Life You Desire and Deserve.”

In his powerful, life-enhancing book, Halpern explains the seven keys to supercharging our lives by addressing the limits we put on ourselves that prevent us from following through on what we know we need to do. For example, we know we need to eat less to lose weight, and we need to improve our communications to build stronger relationships, but we sometimes put obstacles in our own way. “Supercharge Your Emotions to Win” helps readers identify and overcome those obstacles.

Unlike other personal development books which focus on logic, facts, willpower and discipline, Halpern shows readers how to develop and attach strong, productive emotions – supercharged emotions – to our understanding and choices. Only then can we live in an empowered emotional state where we can attain our dreams in every area of our lives.

Using examples and exercises throughout the 166-page book, Halpern lays out the seven keys to achieve the emotional leverage we need for success:

  • Clarify Your Outcome
  • Recognize What’s In Your Control
  • Magnetize Your Thoughts and Actions
  • Manage Your Emotions
  • Set and Attain Your Goals
  • Access the Power of Belief
  • Maintain Your Power

Published in January 2015, “Supercharge Your Emotions to Win” is earning the praise of industry and business leaders across the country. Here is a sampling of editorial reviews:

“Packed with effective strategies to create real and lasting life changes.”
~ DAVID J. LIEBERMAN, Ph.D., award-winning author and internationally-recognized leader in the field of human behavior

“Benjamin is blessed with the unique ability to help people create the change they desire in their lives with lightning speed.”
~ MICHAEL GROSS, CEO, AJ Madison

“This book will have a positive impact on those who apply its wisdom.”
~ DAVID LOWENTHAL, Senior Vice President, Wealth Management, Merrill Lynch

Supercharge your life now; purchase a copy on Amazon.com today!

About Benjamin Halpern, MSW, LCSW

In addition to being an author and speaker, Halpern is the founder of the F.A.S.T. Center for Personal Development where he specializes in helping individuals overcome fear, anxiety and stress. He developed Staying on Track…One Step at a Time™, a comprehensive, 10-step anxiety reduction program which has helped numerous clients overcome anxiety and stress. He is also an experienced business professional and a licensed social worker who is passionate about applying his skills and knowledge to help thousands create the positive life changes they desire. To learn more about Halpern, visit his LinkedIn profile. For more information about the F.A.S.T. Center for Personal Development, visit F.A.S.T. online or call 732-730-3900.

This content was issued through the press release service at i-Newswire.com. For more info visit: http://www.i-newswire.com